Where Is He...

I had a conversation with a young man whom I once had a mutual interest in. We talked about life and what could of should of would of been between the two of us. He told me that if I was honest with him and not pull the "tough girl" approach then I could be his forever by now. Makes me think about a few things my pastor big brother said to me. I have played the big tough girl for too long and now I am ready to be loved and accept it. I am tired of being the strong independent woman and ready to be a loving caring wife. Who knows what the future holds between me and that gentleman...who knows if that has passed and I have a future with a certain Iron Man who has played this game of don't kiss and don't tell with me for the past 3 or 4 years now. All I know is that I want to be a woman, soft and gentle just like God created me to be and I want to be open and vulnerable for that one man whose rib God used to form me. My eyes have been open to a lot of things within the past few months and I do not take anything lightly. Lord show me who I am and who I am in...please give me the strength and patience for him to find me so that we can spend the rest of eternity learning how to love each other like Christ loves the church! There is one man I have no problem submitting too because he deserves all of me without a mask to cover up my sensitive and private areas. What is love that I see so many people endure? Can I have that feeling and that experience? Will I get that chance to ever say 'I Do'? Who knows...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR....

As I look back over my life in 2009 and all the mess, drama, chaos, foolishness, and selfish things I did; I can only thank God for bringing me so far. 2010 for me is a year of NEW THINGS. I knew this as 2009 was coming to an end, but at Watch Night Service Bishop Jakes confirmed EVERYTHING that I had been told. I will no longer remember things from 2009 or even prior. I will no longer remember the things done to me and those things I have done. 2010 is NEW EVERYTHING!

I took off for a while because I found myself doing things out of order and before time. I had to stop and think about what I was doing and why. I remember God speaking to me about certain things and then I remember myself jumping ahead of schedule. Well for my Bricks...I jumped overboard on my ark before GOD had released me. I found myself doing a lot of that in 2009. Impatience became a drug for me and I was addicted to it. So of course a hard head made for a soft behind on my part. It was like everytime I heard God tell me something about my life I took it an ran with it without stopping to think about the timing of those things he said to me. I had to learn to take a step back, wait and listen to the rest of what he was saying...including when this thing was to take place and how I was to handle it.

I have learned so much about the GOD I serve and more so about me whom He created. I don't want to sound to "spiritual" but hey, that is who I am. I have seen some things and I continue to learn so much. It is not a mystery it is just simply God showing me more and more of Him. For that I cannot complain at all. So this year...2010...I dedicate to grow closer to Him, to learn more about Him, to love Him more and show Him how much he really means to me. I am no longer interested in being simple or settling for medicore. I am about understanding the NEW ME and all that God has created me to be.

So much to do in 2010 and so much to continue to do. A few things happening this year include:

1. Graduate School at Dallas Baptist University for a Dual Masters Program in Christian Education and Teaching. (I begin classes on Jan. 19 and prayerfully by the end of 2011, I will be walking across a stage with 2 Master Degrees)

2. Completing my Teachers Certification for ELAR 8-12 with Region 10. I have 2 classes to complete and take my TeXes test in April. (so keep me in your prayers)

3. Completing my Altar Etiquette Class at The Potters Institute. (I think this is just the first of many classes I am preparing to take).

4. Continue to work closer with the Children and Youth at my church and in my community. I have a relationship with these kids and the youth, not only at church but in my community. My passion for them is another reason I want to start teaching.

So as you can see I have A LOT going on and it is only to make me a better person...a better ME at the end of it all. This is a blessing just to be able to see all that God is about to do in my life and the lives of those I work with.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND GOD BLESS!