Which Way Do I Go?

At this moment in my life I am standing at a crossroad.

To the left I see myself walking away, wondering if all that I heard was merely my imagination playing cruel tricks on me. Wondering if this was all a mistake and if this was simply my flesh desiring to have a piece of reality in which did not truthfully belong to me.

To the right I see myself running after the promise. Running after the thing God said I could have but I can't see it clearly, I only hear its footsteps as I gain closer access to it. Almost there...almost got...almost in arms reach!

This crossroad is a confusing place to be in. There is no clear passage which looks ultimately dangerous, which would be the first sign to go the other direction. Both have sunshine and promise, however one leads me to the topside of a mountain which calls me higher and the other leads me to the low dark vally of pain and torment.

This crossroad is interesting because I seen my mother, sister, aunts and grandmothers all walk pass me. Some entered into the road on the left, while others went into the road on the right. I heard that voice say "Don't lose sight on what I promised you!" And although I am trying not to...that voice grows distant in the wind and the uneasiness of making the wrong choice begins to sink in.

This crossroad is intimidating, because I know that at this point in the journey I have one more test to endure in order to reach the promise. I have to get this right and I have to rely heavenly on all that I was taught in preparation for this journey. I had to change my mindset and my thinking. I had to prepare my body as a living sacrifice and humble myself into a position of submission. I had to kill my selfish desires and the hubris antics which lurked within my heart and soul. I had to put others before myself. I had to forgive my enemies and mean it!

I told God I was ready and I was ready for whatever He had for me, but was I really?
I was ready for the end of the journey, but I had no clue what the beginning had in store for me. I thought I had lost it all and that I was a complete failure, but even in the middle of the storm and the pain, God continued to hold my hand through it all. Even when I stood out from the shadows and saw no one there standing with me in the middle of chaos, God released his presence on me like a fresh rain wind.

So here I go...

Close my eyes, shut off my brain and listen to my heart.

Here I go... ignoring fear, rejection, weakness, anxiety, and disappointment.

Here I go... grabbing a hold of peace, stability, faithfulness, prayer and fasting.

Here I go... ignoring my past and the antics of the enemy trying to talk me out of following my heart.

Here I go... taking that first leap of faith in the RIGHT DIRECTION!