Private Matters

Here recently in my life I have dealt with a lot of emotional turmoil. The roller coaster ride of sporadic emotions have left me with little energy to focus on the positive and rarely allows me the opportunity to encourage myself. I cannot give the enemy credit for this wave of emotions. I do understand that it involves some deep growing pains in which I must address before I can move forward in life. Due to personal issues of the heart remaining personal I do always omit names and descriptions of individuals. Although I share my heart openly as a means to relate to others for encouragement and wisdom I am still private about personal relationships and those individuals who are sometimes the cause for my writing. So if you are one who continues to wonder who the "Dear Future Hubby" posts are about you will continue to guess until my name has legally changed. If you are curious as to when the last relationship ended then I hate to admit you will forever be curious and guess based on rumors. If you are simply one who tries to read between the lines...understand that I am the master of secrecy and what you think you know probably means you are totally off. The obvious is never known when it comes to me! :)

Have I been heart broken? Yes. Have I broken others hearts? Yes. Do I believe I am destined to be single forever? No. Am I someones wife? Absolutely. When it is time for the world to know who he is...he will reveal himself. I won't have to. Somethings are better left in the unknown and that is how I view my relationships. There are times I will share about experiences...especially as a single mother or an older sister and even as a best friend.

I pray that we all learn discernment and when it is appropriate to share information and when it is not.

Be blessed!

He Never Gave Me Christ (Jesus)

So I have ran from this last blog entry for a while. The first two simply opened my heart and eyes to so much which was taking place in my life that I had to let those things soak into my spirit. This last piece of the "He Never Gave Me Christ" series deals with the image of Jesus which should be a reflection within whoever HE is. After almost a month of running from this thing I finally have to sit and listen to God as He continues to speak to me about how the last guy never gave me Christ as Jesus (do not get all spiritually deep on me before you read what this means).

I pray that as I type and allow God to speak through me, He will continue to minister to you either as a husband or a wife. Be blessed.


3. He Never Gave Me Christ (Jesus)

Ephesians 5:25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.(NLT)




Christ as Jesus - To Protect /Banner (Jehovah Nissi)

Now with Jesus I must take my time and break this all the way down so that you can understand fully how God just busted my mind on this. READY SET GO...

According to http://www.blueletterbible.org/study/misc/name_god.cfm#link5

Strong's Reference: 3071




Jehovah Nissi in the Septuagint: kurios kataphugê mou — the Lord is my refuge


Meaning and Derivation: Jehovah is translated as "The Existing One" or "Lord." The chief meaning of Jehovah is derived from the Hebrew word Havah meaning "to be" or "to exist." It also suggests "to become" or specifically "to become known" — this denotes a God who reveals Himself unceasingly.

Nes (nês), from which Nissi derived, means "banner" in Hebrew. In Exd 17:15, Moses, recognizing that the Lord was Israel's banner under which they defeated the Amalekites, builds an altar named

Jehovah-Nissi (the Lord our Banner). Nes is sometimes translated as a pole with an insignia attached. In battle opposing nations would fly their own flag on a pole at each of their respective front lines. This was to give their soldiers a feeling of hope and a focal point. This is what God is to us: a banner of encouragement to give us hope and a focal point.

So after reading this insert it first became apparent to me that whoever this man is first has to make himself known. I have no clue that he even exists until he reveals himself to me. Although the last guy made himself known on New Years Eve...he only made his physical appearance known...who he was spiritually was and is continuously a mystery to me. Jesus revealed himself to us back in the Old Testament (refer back to Boaz & David). It is from the book of Genesis all the way through the New Testament that Jesus informs us of who he is and why he is coming!

Jesus is God wrapped in flesh. He came to this world to save an entire being of mankind from an eternal damnation in which was also being prepared for us due to our sinful nature. He laid his own life down in order to save ours. He is our protection! Jesus gives us hope for what has happened, what is happening and what is about to happen! Daily I have to die to me so that I can live in him...and it is in hope that I believe that Christ is and will forever be my banner...my covering...my protection!

When it comes to the man who is on his way to find his wife, we have to remember that God has already informed us that this person was coming. We have to remain patient and faithful to God's timing on when that will happen. One thing God has always told me was this "the one that I send you will have my spirit which is wrapped in flesh (Genesis 1:26-27). I will send you someone who loves me more than he loves you, but in his ability to love me he will give you all that you need as a mate so that you can fully understand how much I loved you!" (Give me a moment as I run around this room one more time).

The former guy never gave me Christ as Jesus because he never showed me his banner. In the times of being on the front lines of spiritual warfare he never showed me who he was fighting for or against. This raised serious questions for me and it bothered me in a sense. I am currently undergoing a spiritual warfare with the enemy as it relates to the youth at my church. When my children come under attack...the mama bear in me comes out. The reason the courtship with the last guy had to end before it could began was because he was in no position to fight along side of me as I enter into the battle. What I have to do in this season of my life, that man was not prepared for and it was the banner in which he failed to provide which further let me know he was not the one. Whenever I was under a small attack I would confide in this man and he would simply look at me as if I had brought all the hell upon myself. I guess when you are obedient to God and are about kingdom business you are in someways vulnerable to the attacks of the enemy. This young man told me he was praying with me but I doubted if he actually was. I see this young man Sunday after Sunday in a servant position but his spirit simply is dormant. I mean it seems like it is alive but if has no visibility to it. This bothers me! How can I be with someone who is not in tune with what is going on in the spirit? Not to sound extra holy but there are specific seasons in my life in which I know I am being prepared to handle some business and it is not for the weak at heart or faith! Now is that season and I simply have to thank God for removing people out of my life who would become more of a hindrance than help!

He Never Gave Me Christ...Jesus. This is not to say that the man I will be with is Jesus. (Sorry ladies Jesus is NOT your husband). This is simply to say that whoever he is has to have certain characteristics and traits that reflect that of Christ in all aspects mentioned. If he is going to be a Son of God...then he must at least LOOK and ACT like his daddy. God does not have step children...I'm just saying!

I pray that whoever he is...that you are able to identify at least three distinctions of Christ in him. For me is was the reflections of Boaz, David and Jesus.

Be blessed and have a GREAT night!

He Never Gave Me Christ (David)

I pray that as you continue to read what God has shared with me you are given new wisdom and understanding. This lesson was a conversation between me and a friend which allowed God to come in and open my eyes to a deeper meaning on what it means when we make reference to Ephesians 5


25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.(NLT)


As I continue from my previous conversation, something else was brought to my attention about the courtship this young man and I briefly shared. There were so many unanswered questions and too many empty details which caused red flags to go up in my spirit. So in my studying of this scripture and speaking with my best friend I realize three things. The guy I courted never gave me Christ in his three distinct examples from his bloodline. All three examples require ACTION which is a VERB! (That is the English teacher in me).


Christ as David - To Praise

(Jehovah-Tsid-Kenu) - This name of the Lord is one of the most powerful and comforting ones he has given us and an understanding will create a heart bursting with gratitude.


2. He Never Gave Me Christ (David)


Christ came in the form of David to give us yet another snapshot of what to expect later on in time. It was through his resilience and tenacity as a servant to God, which made an iconic representation to the genealogical background of Jesus, in which we further get a clear understanding of the relationship between man and God.

David is by far one of my favorite men of the Bible. Despite his shortcomings and ill decisions regarding leadership and love, David was a man who had a heart after God. The beat of David's heart was so in sync with God it was hard to see the difference between man and spirit. His compassion for God was intriguing yet genuinely sincere at the same time, to the point God had no choice but to love David back even more. David wanted nothing else but to please God. His dedication to God was submission in its purest form. The actions of this man spoke louder than the word which scuttled from his heart. Regardless of who was watching him or even those who did not approved of his actions, David was a man with power and in that power he had a continuous praise in his heart despite his circumstances.


According to Webster's Dictionary, praise means - to glorify (a god or saint) especially by the attribution of perfections. How amazing is it to learn that a man during this time period made it a lifestyle to glorify God for his attributions of perfection. His perfect peace...His perfect will, etc.

According to Strong's praise can mean 1288 barak baw-rak' a primitive root; to kneel; by implication to bless God (as an act of adoration).


Although we know David was by no means perfect he never allowed his imperfections to take his mind away from his sole obligation as a son of God; which was to continuously praise God through the good and the bad. Even when he is in the middle of a horrifying situation, he praised God. Even when his enemies surrounded him and mocked him, he still praised God. Even when things did not go as he planned, he still praised God.

In Psalms 56 David prayed to God after he was seized in Gath by the Philistines. He says...

8 You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.


9 My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help.
This I know: God is on my side!


10 I praise God for what he has promised;
yes, I praise the LORD for what he has promised.


11 I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?


12 I will fulfill my vows to you, O God,
and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help.


13 For you have rescued me from death;
you have kept my feet from slipping.
So now I can walk in your presence, O God,
in your life-giving light. (NLT)


This simply brings joy to my heart in knowing that the man God will allow me to be with is currently being transformed to represent this form of Christ and in his representation of Christ I too strive to live a life similar to that of David's. This thing is bigger than me! It is bigger than simply wanting him to treat me in a certain manner. The focus is how does he treat God?

When all hell breaks loose in his life does he simply throw a pity party? Does he isolate himself from me and his family? Will he complain about every bad decision and circumstance or will he simply fall to his knees and praise God in the midst of it all? Does he exemplify the Christ in which David did? Is he strong enough to be the head and endure all the attacks so that they will not reach his family? Does he have praise in his heart which reverts back to his relationship with God? Can he really call himself a son of God? And if not does he really think he deserves one of God's precious daughters, like me?

God is righteous in all he does. Even when he gives us a "No" to something we seek him for, it all has a purpose. God does not make mistakes by any means and we must forever understand this. The young man that courted me never displayed Christ as David did. Although his gifts and talents allowed him to be placed in a position of continuous praise, his lifestyle outside of the church rarely reflected these characteristics. Furthermore, he came out of a bad relationship prior to meeting me and he allowed the past to negatively alter his mindset on relationships. This also allowed him to build a wall of bitterness higher than the Empire State Building. Insecurities continued to exude in his speech and his attitude about various things even to the point where he became disrespectful towards me.

I had to ask myself during the course of us getting to know each other, was this type of person I could see myself with later on in life? The harsh reality was NO! The man whom stood before me was not what I asked God for nor did he show me Christ in his actions on a consistent basis. True enough he took me to dinner and even made romantic gestures; however, what I really needed from him as a man and potential mate he lacked in. I for one know you cannot change a man and I am not in the business of trying to do God's job. So I had to really pray and seek God on walking away for good before making a premature decision based on what I saw in front of me.

My Pastor taught on relationships a couple of years ago and he gave us a formula to operate in which included a strategic order in which companionship should be built: Spiritual, Psychological, Emotional, and Physical. When meeting someone new I first had to see if there was a spiritual connection there. Needless to say with this young man there "appeared" to be, but I later found out this was not authentic. Then I needed to see if there was any psychological connection between the two of us...and well the answer again was no. Apparently the age difference and educational background seemed to be a major problem for him. Then there were the emotional and physical connections which needed to be addressed. Although he was physically attractive he was an emotional wreck after his last relationship. This formula further let me know I was headed for an explosive relationship which would end in complete disaster.

As I continue to wait on my Boaz/David...I have to thank God for the life lessons and teachers he continues to send me on a daily basis. I pray as you seek to become the man/woman God has called you to be that you are listening closely to God's voice and being obedient despite what your circumstances may be.

Be blessed.

He Never Gave Me Christ (Boaz)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

As I slowly continue the countdown to the big 3-0 I have looked back over the past five years to reflect on what worked and what did not. Tomorrow marks the famous day in which love is generated and catered among the vast majority of people. Regardless of one's religious background...Valentine's Day is a universal holiday in which many celebrate in order to show their appreciation and affection towards others (ACTION!) What is interesting about this day as it relates to me is that within the last five years...I cannot remember celebrating Valentines Day with the exception of 2010 when my ex and I attended a concert.

This year as I continue to await my Boaz, I think about all the guys who sought interest in me but I did not seek it back...those who tried and it simply did not work...and even the one who claimed to be "real" yet his actions lied on him and proved otherwise! *insert Kanye shrug*

I continue to sit back and think about what my heart desires in a husband and how that relates to the type of wife God is creating me to be. Within the body of Christ, believers are known to quote the famous Ephesians 5:25-30 which reads...

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b] 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. (NLT)

As I sit here and think about my life in the grand scheme of things especially with different men I have dated and been in serious relationships with, I have to think about this scripture and ask God to break it all the way down for me and others. Lord, help us to remain faithful in you as we seek to gain wisdom on what we should hope for instead of the things we simply look for, Hebrews 11:1-3,

1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. 2 Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation. 3 By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.


I recently told one of my best friends that a particular guy (who will remain nameless) never gave me Christ during the time of our courtship. Every time I think about Ephesians 5 and I try to compare it to our courting, not one time did he show any resemblance to Christ especially as it relates to this scripture. Now before people claim I am going too deep...let me remind you that the WORD tells us the following in John 1. It is because of the WORD of God that I continue to eliminate the lies of darkness because the light of God's word forever shines so bright.

1 In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He existed in the beginning with God. 3 God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. 4 The Word gave life to everything that was created,[a] and his life brought light to everyone. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.[b] (NLT)

It is in this truth that I can sit back in the presence of God and listen to Him loud and clear about what He has prepared and planned for my life. My Boaz has to resemble Christ, because it was through the bloodline of Boaz that Christ came down generations to make his earthly presence known. So many modern women refer to their husbands or future husbands as "BOAZ" who is also a type and shadow of Christ.

So in my studying of this scripture and speaking with my best friend I realize three things. The guy I courted never gave me Christ in his three distinct examples from his bloodline. All three examples require ACTION which is a VERB! (That is the English teacher in me).

Christ as Boaz - To Provide (Jehovah Jireh)
Christ as David - To Praise (Jehovah-Tsid-Kenu)
Christ as Jesus - To Protect (Jehovah Nissi)




I will come back to Ephesians in a moment but let me tell you what God gave me about these very different types of Christ and how it related to the guy I once courted.

1. He Never Gave Me Christ as Boaz (To Provide)

Ruth 2:6-9
6 And the foreman replied, “She is the young woman from Moab who came back with Naomi. 7 She asked me this morning if she could gather grain behind the harvesters. She has been hard at work ever since, except for a few minutes’ rest in the shelter.” 8 Boaz went over and said to Ruth, “Listen, my daughter. Stay right here with us when you gather grain; don’t go to any other fields. Stay right behind the young women working in my field. 9 See which part of the field they are harvesting, and then follow them. I have warned the young men not to treat you roughly. And when you are thirsty, help yourself to the water they have drawn from the well.”

What is interesting about this scripture is that one, Boaz made provisions for Ruth before even really knowing who she was. The same way Christ made provisions for us on the cross before our spirits ever met our bodies and introduced us to the world. Another indication of the connection of Boaz to Christ is that he called her "daughter". It is by no coincidence that the Father of Heaven ,who wrapped himself in flesh, came down the genealogy bloodline of Boaz to speak to his daughter; who came from a family which never knew Him. So even in the book of Ruth, Christ made himself known without telling us who he really was. Boaz also informed her that when she was thirsty to help herself to water from the well. This also referenced Christ and his meeting with the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4:9-15. The topic of living water was even present in Ruth as Christ continued to give us indications of who He was and why He was coming into this word.

9 The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans.[b] She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?” 10 Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.” 11 “But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? 12 And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?” 13 Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. 14 But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” 15 “Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.”


There were times during our courtship in which the young man would make comments about not being able to provide for me financially due to some recent setbacks he had endured. At first I was offended by these statements because I was never the type of female to date a man based on his financial status. I never sought out to be with a man based on how much money he made or what he could buy me. But then something came to my memory about it which further made me realize God had something better in store for me. I did not need to settle for a relationship in which one could not fully function as the head, as this guy clearly was communicating to me. I had to listen with an open ear an understanding heart that this man was simply telling me he was not the one. Because of my eagerness to defy the odds and not become the stereotypical gold-digging female, I simply excused his comments as him beating himself down for not being the "man" he thought he should have been. The way I saw it, we were simply dating and had not moved into the relationship phase, so there was no need for him to have those concerns about being a provider for me. Boy was I wrong!

As God further breaks down the connection of Boaz and Christ to provide...I also remembered a few other things about this courtship. During the course of us getting to know each other, there seemed to be insecurities about him which hindered his ability to be accepting of the woman God had created me to be...Proverbs 31! The fact that God had opened so many doors for me seemed to make him look at himself and realize that he had not used his time to the best of his ability. So many times he would tell me that he felt like "he wasted so much time and he has nothing to show for it". Now I must mention that there was almost a 10 year age difference between us. From where he stood close to 40, I may have accomplished so much more in life at the age of 29 than he had. In my heart I simply believed that his life was not over and it was never too late. I had the heart and compassion to be understanding and supportive, yet that is not what he wanted. I was trying to help a man who did not want a HELP MEET! So I had to step away.

Today I am at peace with walking away from the situation. I believe that God has someone so much better for me and I do not have to settle for just anything or anyone. There were things said/done that did not reflect Christ. The entire time I felt something was missing from the entire courtship. Something that was of value and merit. Something that was the glue to us being around each other. Despite him being a believer, he still did not have the key ingredient to unlock my heart. He was not a man that reflected Christ as it relates to the man God has for me.

 I serve a God who loves me and provides for me on a daily basis. I am not asking God to send me a man who will try to replace God because that will NEVER happen, but I am asking God that since His word cannot come back void...then Ephesians 5 still holds true to its power even on this eve of Valentine's Day. With God EVERYDAY is a day of action in which He continues to show me His undying love and affection as my provider. So at the end of the day I further realize God is sending me a man who has a heart after his own and understands what it means when the Bible says...25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her

OPEN UP...

I have procrastinated so much on my writing that it is scary. At one point in my life I was just fed up and done with it all. I felt it was me saying to God that since nothing productive was coming out of me pouring my heart and thoughts out, then why continue? The problem was that just because I did not SEE the results, did not mean there were none produced. It does bless my soul to read the comments shared from those who read my words. It is more so of a blessing to know that in my obedience someone else was able to be healed from a situation or there was revelation given to them based on their personal experiences. Do I always need reassurance that people are actually being blessed by my obedience? No...but it never hurts to hear the feed back. Even if its not a million people...just the one or two lets me know I have done my job!

The book of Romans will be my devotional for the month. I have made a sound commitment to God that I would get back into my word on a daily basis. I can dedicate time to everything else it seems but God. I can no longer afford to gamble with my life or His time for that matter. One thing I know without a shadow of a doubt is that 2012 is the year to LIVE ON PURPOSE! My purpose on this Earth is my first priority....not my career, not my health and wellness, not my dreams and/or goals, not being the next millionaire, etc. My first priority is to do what I was sent to this Earth to do even before the Earth was created by God.

For years I have sat this purpose and this includes writing. It never dawned on me that I was always able to express myself more clearly in written form than I was in verbal communication. Anytime my heart was overwhelmed with any type of emotion I was able to majestically transform those emotions into a written creation which unlocked a world full of mystery in which no one was ever exposed to but me and God. Then I realized how selfish I had become. God gave me something to share with others and out of my own fear and doubt I hid it from the world because I thought I would not be accepted or liked as others were. OH BUT GOD! No more time to waste with excuses. No more time to procrastinate because I simply was too lazy to do what I was called to do. No more time to put off what should have been done so long ago. I am blessed because God let me know at the beginning of this year that I HAVE LOST NOTHING!

2012 is the year in which I share with the world all that God has placed in me to share, but only at the right time. I could easily vomit up years of writing but I have to be obedient and sensitive to the plan God has set before us in order to ensure my assignment is being completed according to what He has designed. There are so many locked doors hidden in the secret caves of my heart. There are so many things God has shown me through dreams and visions. There is simply so much inside that I am about to burst because I have held on to it for so long. Bishop mentioned something on Sunday that has stuck with me everyday... Two reasons why you should be dropping something. 1. Someone is coming behind you who needs it! 2. You can't keep it all, you have to make room for where you are going and your hands cannot be filled! How amazing is this. Talk about a release Sunday. I keep asking God for more and He keeps telling me that I did nothing with what I was already given. Foolish! I cannot wait to share my heart and thoughts with the entire world. This is why my blog remains OPEN! I want everyone to read it and have access to it. It was placed in me to give out FREELY so that is what I will do.

Pay attention dear friends and even all doubters. Be careful to listen to what is not always made obvious. There are signs and times which were spoken of long ago which are coming to pass in this year. There are things God is about to reveal which are only for those who are CALLED to understand. There are mysteries being unlocked and miracles being performed. God will only allow so much chaos to resume before He steps down and makes His presence known. Do not be alarmed at how fast the churches will fill this year. Do not be alarmed at the quick transformation in people's character. Do not be alarmed when the scriptures began to come alive for all to see. God is not a liar and He never was. I don't care how you pronounce Jesus...He is still the one and only true savior of the world.

GET READY CHURCH! GET READY!

WALK INTO YOUR DESTINY!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OK...so I am a little late, but none the less I want to say Happy New Year. Be happy because God gave us His grace and mercy to survive another year. Be happy because 2012 is the year to go all out and be all that we were created to be. Be happy because this new year presents new opportunities and new doors to be open. Enjoy all that is new this year...new relationships, new careers, new families, new blessings, new YOU!

There is so much that has happen since the clock kissed my past goodbye on that late Saturday night at 11:59 p.m. My life as I have known it has been completely turned into a new reality in which I could only have dreamed of. To understand who I am and why God created me has been simply mind blowing. It is by no coincidence that every single move I have made since that wonderful night of celebration, has been ordained by God. I am no preacher but I will be a believer until the end of time and we all know time has no ending.

2011 was a year of discipline and transition. 2010 was a year of isolation and detachment. 2009 was a year of teaching and redirecting. As I look back over the past couple of years I can clearly see how God was preparing me for such a time as this. Although I was never aware of His grand scheme of things, deep down I knew there was something taking place in the Heavens which had to be completed here on Earth.

In 2006 God spoke loud and clear and explained to me my assignment. He allowed me to see where I had placed myself on this Earth was not where He had ordained me to be. It was from that moment on, I knew working in the wonderful world of television and marketing was not where I was called to be. In 2007, after being laid off at KTVT CBS 11 due to budget cuts, I applied for an alternative teaching certification program in order to obtain my teaching certification. I started the process and was easily accepted  to my surprise (note: when you walk in your purpose God has already made provisions for you). I begin taking classes to obtain my certification which should have only taken a year to complete, but distractions slowly made their way back into my life. It is no wonder that when we begin walking in God's will, there will be road blocks along the way to deter us from making it to our destination. I was offered a position at Fox Sports Net and decided to put teaching on hold until it was the right time in my eyes to pursue it (BIG MISTAKE). From Fox Sports I was hired on with Time Warner (making almost $10k more than I was at Fox Sports) so I decided to finish out my career in television and marketing and put teaching off indefinitely.

After 3 years of doing what I wanted to do I realized I had no passion left in the television field. There was nothing I did on a day to day basis that was fulfilling kingdom business and I noticed how distant I became at work. I was no longer excited about making that 45 minute commute up the Tollway from Duncanville daily. I was no longer intrigued by the increase in salary or the perks of working with million dollar clients. I was bored! So in 2010 I decided to re-enroll in the certification program (well only after they sent me a letter stating I had 9 months to complete the program or I would be removed - talk about God making life uncomfortable in order to birth you into your destiny). I also decided that I would go back to school to get my Masters Degree from DBU. I finally put all of my running to the side and decided to walk in obedience.

Flash forward to July 2010... on my way back from San Antonio I passed a church off of I35 in Red Oak. I noticed the church was also a school called Life School. I remember clear as day telling the Lord "God I want to teach there!" A few weeks later I received an email stating they were looking for a high school English teacher. With no experience I simply stepped out on faith and applied. About a week later I was called in for an interview with the Principal and Assistant Principal and two days after that I had an interview with the Chief Academic Officer. The next day I was offered the position to teach English II (10th grade), Journalism and Newspaper. YOU CAN'T TELL ME GOD DOES NOT ORDER OUR STEPS!

So here I am...now teaching for the second year doing what God called me to do and being obedient. This year I was also blessed with the opportunity to coach volleyball and basketball. Although I knew nothing about volleyball I took the assignment with a smile on my face and the extra pay did not hurt either! Despite a lot of drama that has occurred at my school this year I know this is where God wants me to be. I have a specific assignment in which I must complete before moving on to the next one. I know that through all the blood, sweat, and tears this is what I was called to do and I will do it with a pure heart and clear mind. I may not understand fully why God sent me this route but I know it is for a reason. I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have been in a long time. Even when I thought I wanted to move out of Dallas, God told me "there is a reason you are here!" and I am starting to see the bigger picture more clearer now.

I write all of this to simply say this...STAY PUT! When God tells you to go, you have to be obedient and do just as He tells you and when He tells you. There is so much more I want to share with you about 2012...but those stories will have to wait until tomorrow!

Be blessed family and know that this year is a NEW YEAR...a HAPPY YEAR...and a BLESSED YEAR! Let go and watch God blow your mind! Now let's celebrate!