I thank God for allowing us to come together and read his word and study it in depth. I am not sure why God has placed this in my heart to share but I know it is for at least one person. I pray that whoever this message is for you are able to eat it, digest it, and use it for your spiritual nutrition as a balanced diet. Pray...eat...and be blessed!
Continuing with Exodus 32 there was so much more the Lord shared with me to share with you. As we continue on through the passage we get to verse 5-7 in which we find the people celebrating after the golden calf was created.
5 Aaron saw how excited the people were, so he built an altar in front of the calf. Then he announced, “Tomorrow will be a festival to the Lord!”
6 The people got up early the next morning to sacrifice burnt offerings and peace offerings. After this, they celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry.
7 The Lord told Moses, “Quick! Go down the mountain! Your people whom you brought from the land of Egypt have corrupted themselves. 8 How quickly they have turned away from the way I commanded them to live! They have melted down gold and made a calf, and they have bowed down and sacrificed to it. They are saying, ‘These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.’”
What is interesting about this passage of scripture was the response of Aaron after he noticed the people were excited about his creation. It seemed as if he finally was recognized as a life saver, a leader, an answered help to the children of Israel. He was so excited about how the people responded, he announced a festival and then had the nerve to say it was for the Lord, as if God himself gave Aaron the anointing to create a false god on his behalf. The next morning the people got up to sacrifice burnt offerings and peace offerings only to turn around and have a huge celebration doing almost everything that was offensive to God. How ironic is it that we too sometimes celebrate in our own mess. We have the nerve to take matters into our own hands and just when it looks like everything is working out according to OUR plan, we throw a party...we post it on facebook...we celebrate "getting over". We thank God for something we ourselves have done when God is simply shaking his head saying "these fools are tripping!" We lack faith in God to show us how to handle certain situations in our lives and we eventually end up doing something stupid in which we regret later.
In verse 7, God transitions from the being being "His people" to being "Moses' people". My question to God was, why did you not claim your people in verse 7? You went through all of this stuff with Moses and them only to turn your back on them the moment they offend you? I mean are you really that one sided? At the drop of a dime you can change your perception of your people in the instant we doing something not pleasing to you?
His answer to my question made so much sense to me. His answer was this...God cannot accept sin. He cannot take ownership to something or someone that is not holy. Sin cannot enter heaven because it is not allowed. It does not reflect who God is, nor who his son is. 1 John 3:4-6 reads 4 Everyone who sins is breaking God’s law, for all sin is contrary to the law of God. 5 And you know that Jesus came to take away our sins, and there is no sin in him. 6 Anyone who continues to live in him will not sin. But anyone who keeps on sinning does not know him or understand who he is. When the children of Israel started worshiping the calf; they operated in a method foreign and unacceptable by God. Sin rejects us from God's presence; however, it is acceptable and pleasing to man [Aaron]. This was Aaron's opportunity to get a title/position among the people...to win their favor away from Moses while Moses was away.
Be careful of the people you surround yourself with who are only seeking an opportunity to stab you in the back and throw you under the bus. Be mindful of friends and especially family members who are jealous of your anointing and the favor you have with God. Be aware of people who only ride with you because they have a chance to be on a platform to be seen and appreciated by others. One lesson I know I learned from this was to watch my inner circle because there will always be a Judas closer to me than I ever realized.
The scripture goes on and talks about the people's stubborn and rebellious ways. 9 Then the Lord said, “I have seen how stubborn and rebellious these people are. 10 Now leave me alone so my fierce anger can blaze against them, and I will destroy them. Then I will make you, Moses, into a great nation.”
Our impatience with God's timing causes us to become stubborn. We forget that we serve God, he does not serve us. When we don't get the things/answers we want; we tend to rebel. Think of it this way. Teenagers rebel against their parents because they feel as if their parents don't understand what they are dealing with. Sometime they rebel because their needs and wants are not being met according to their standards. Teens are very impatient and when their demands are not met within a reasonable amount of time they go and do things on their own. [I know I was once a teen myself and I work with them daily]. The trouble with this mindset is the kids have never experienced what their parents have. They are not aware of the world we live in and the trouble that energizes evil. Teens are not equipped or prepared to handle a lot of the situations they find themselves in (drugs, alcohol, sex, etc). They find themselves involved in certain things because they feel resulting to these extreme situations will fulfill their desire to be appreciated and understood; when in reality it only draws them closer to death both spiritually and naturally. It also creates a wedge between their relationship with their parents.
This is how God is with us. We are the teens and he is the parent. We get tired and frustrated with waiting on God that we take matters into our own hands. We do things because we feel as if we know how to handle our own lives better than God can; when in actuality we don't. We are ready to find that husband, so we go on dating sites, we club, we do all of these outrageous things to go find that husband we long for. When we meet a dude he seems like everything we want on the outside but he really is Satan himself. (You do know that Satan is gorgeous right? Read your Bible) The guy we meet has a credit score of a -720, he has 6 kids by 5 different women, he is in between jobs because he is trying to start his own business for the 7th time, he never has money because he owes banks in overdraft fees, church to him means watching TBN or donating money to the SPCA or the Feed the Children specials, etc. But because he is fine and has "potential" for us to change him...we go with what we think is best for our lives and end up looking dumb in the end. Had we just waited on God a little while longer he would have placed us in the right place for the right man to find us. That man has to find you ladies! You should be so deep within the heart of God that the only way that man can access you is to have a connection with God in order to get the access code to find out WHERE you are
OK back to the scripture. We do things in our own will and out of the will of God. God takes his time to set provisions for us so that we don't ever have to play the "wonder game". I wonder if he is the one, I wonder if this is the job, I wonder if that is the house, I wonder if this is the church, I wonder this...I wonder that. When you have a relationship with God and you are submissive to his timing and his word...you never have to wonder about another thing EVER in your life. Trust me this is a testimony not a lecture! We end up killing ourselves and stressing ourselves out trying to do God's job. That is foolishness and a dangerous game to play. We become rebellious due to our stubborn hearts.
In verse 10 we see God's anger. Can you understand God's anger? It is like you helping someone whom you love (spouse/significant other) out of a tough situation. You love them so much that you made a huge sacrifice for them and you end up giving them almost everything because you love them so much and it pains you to see them in that situation. During the entire course, they know you are the one who provided for them and supported them through their hurt and pain and even a previous relationship [Egypt and the Pharaoh] yet they turn to the arms of their former lover [pagan gods/golden calf] because they "look" better or have a history with them. However, you are the one that did all the work, you are the one that made the sacrifices, you are the one that helped them out financially, you are the one that was there for them when everyone else turned their backs; yet you cannot get even a simple THANK YOU! This is what happened to God. The people he loved and set free ran to the arms of a tangible metal calf made by a man...a man that God created...metal that God created...fire that God created. They worshiped the things God created yet failed to worship the God whom created them. This was a slap in the face to God. Have you ever been slapped in the face? If so your initial reaction is not just pain but anger and even revenge. (Be honest you don't initially have that "turn the other cheek mentality" don't lie).
How many times has God gotten us out of situations and out of trouble, yet we thank everyone around us. We recognize the job who hired us so we could pay our bills, but we don't recognize the God who created the job and the position. We get awards and thank everyone who helped us to get to the level we are at, yet we don't thank the God who set the path of our lives before we were ever created in the uterus of our mothers. We thank Big Mama for taking care of us and being the backbone of our family, yet we don't thank the God who gave her life and strength to cover 4 generations. We thank everyone but God! We do this all the time, even I have done it. Yet we cannot seem to understand why God sometimes gets angry with us.
I am grateful that I serve a forgiving God. I serve a God who understands that when he created me there would be some issues I would be faced with. There was some pride that would come along and introduce itself to me and I would eat it. There would be an attitude that would date me and I would be married to it. There would be some insecurities I could not out run and I took them in. I serve a God who is a healer and a restorer. He saw my foolish ways and he got me out of so much trouble that I knew it was no one but God. I was more focused on me and my issues that I felt God could not have possibly cared enough or else he would not have allowed all of the bad things to happen. When in reality the bad things happened because of me. He loved me enough to say, yes she got herself in this mess but when I look at her I see my baby and I cannot leave her in there like that. I know she does not appreciate me now but when I am done with her I will be the only name she can utter. I know she is upset because of how she grew up but when I am done with her she will understand why I gave her the grace to survive. She cannot see it now, but she will one day. And because of that one day, that God had planned for me I am no longer the same. Because of that one day that Christ saw my face as he was nailed to the cross...I am free. Because of the love that God has for me and the fact that I belong to him is the only reason I can sit here and write this devotional.
Let it go and Let God. Get out of your own way. I promise you the moment you let go of your life and give it ALL to God you will be blown away at the things he has in store for you.
Tha Non-Fiction Version
- Miss Natalie
- This is a way of escape to express myself to an audience without a capacity. This is my life, my strengths, my weakness, my fears, my hopes, my doubts, my everything. An Outlet of Relief!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
The Golden Curse (Exodus 32) - Part 1
I pray that the words that God has shared with me are a blessing to you. I pray that as God opens up my heart to share His word with you that you to are transformed. I only stand in obedience to be used by God to reach His people in a method foreign to others but receptive to most. I pray that you are blessed by the devotionals I have been instructed to share with you
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New Living Translation (NLT)
Exodus 32
The Gold Calf
1 When the people saw how long it was taking Moses to come back down the mountain, they gathered around Aaron. “Come on,” they said, “make us some gods who can lead us. We don’t know what happened to this fellow Moses, who brought us here from the land of Egypt.”
2 So Aaron said, “Take the gold rings from the ears of your wives and sons and daughters, and bring them to me.”
3 All the people took the gold rings from their ears and brought them to Aaron. 4 Then Aaron took the gold, melted it down, and molded it into the shape of a calf. When the people saw it, they exclaimed, “O Israel, these are the gods who brought you out of the land of Egypt!”
5 Aaron saw how excited the people were, so he built an altar in front of the calf. Then he announced, “Tomorrow will be a festival to the Lord!”
6 The people got up early the next morning to sacrifice burnt offerings and peace offerings. After this, they celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry.
7 The Lord told Moses, “Quick! Go down the mountain! Your people whom you brought from the land of Egypt have corrupted themselves. 8 How quickly they have turned away from the way I commanded them to live! They have melted down gold and made a calf, and they have bowed down and sacrificed to it. They are saying, ‘These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.’”
9 Then the Lord said, “I have seen how stubborn and rebellious these people are. 10 Now leave me alone so my fierce anger can blaze against them, and I will destroy them. Then I will make you, Moses, into a great nation.”
11 But Moses tried to pacify the Lord his God. “O Lord!” he said. “Why are you so angry with your own people whom you brought from the land of Egypt with such great power and such a strong hand? 12 Why let the Egyptians say, ‘Their God rescued them with the evil intention of slaughtering them in the mountains and wiping them from the face of the earth’? Turn away from your fierce anger. Change your mind about this terrible disaster you have threatened against your people! 13 Remember your servants Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.[a] You bound yourself with an oath to them, saying, ‘I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars of heaven. And I will give them all of this land that I have promised to your descendants, and they will possess it forever.’”
14 So the Lord changed his mind about the terrible disaster he had threatened to bring on his people.
15 Then Moses turned and went down the mountain. He held in his hands the two stone tablets inscribed with the terms of the covenant.[b] They were inscribed on both sides, front and back. 16 These tablets were God’s work; the words on them were written by God himself.
17 When Joshua heard the boisterous noise of the people shouting below them, he exclaimed to Moses, “It sounds like war in the camp!”
18 But Moses replied, “No, it’s not a shout of victory nor the wailing of defeat. I hear the sound of a celebration.”
19 When they came near the camp, Moses saw the calf and the dancing, and he burned with anger. He threw the stone tablets to the ground, smashing them at the foot of the mountain. 20 He took the calf they had made and burned it. Then he ground it into powder, threw it into the water, and forced the people to drink it.
21 Finally, he turned to Aaron and demanded, “What did these people do to you to make you bring such terrible sin upon them?”
22 “Don’t get so upset, my lord,” Aaron replied. “You yourself know how evil these people are. 23 They said to me, ‘Make us gods who will lead us. We don’t know what happened to this fellow Moses, who brought us here from the land of Egypt.’ 24 So I told them, ‘Whoever has gold jewelry, take it off.’ When they brought it to me, I simply threw it into the fire—and out came this calf!”
25 Moses saw that Aaron had let the people get completely out of control, much to the amusement of their enemies.[c] 26 So he stood at the entrance to the camp and shouted, “All of you who are on the Lord’s side, come here and join me.” And all the Levites gathered around him.
27 Moses told them, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: Each of you, take your swords and go back and forth from one end of the camp to the other. Kill everyone—even your brothers, friends, and neighbors.” 28 The Levites obeyed Moses’ command, and about 3,000 people died that day.
29 Then Moses told the Levites, “Today you have ordained yourselves[d] for the service of the Lord, for you obeyed him even though it meant killing your own sons and brothers. Today you have earned a blessing.”
Moses Intercedes for Israel
30 The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a terrible sin, but I will go back up to the Lord on the mountain. Perhaps I will be able to obtain forgiveness[e] for your sin.”
31 So Moses returned to the Lord and said, “Oh, what a terrible sin these people have committed. They have made gods of gold for themselves. 32 But now, if you will only forgive their sin—but if not, erase my name from the record you have written!”
33 But the Lord replied to Moses, “No, I will erase the name of everyone who has sinned against me. 34 Now go, lead the people to the place I told you about. Look! My angel will lead the way before you. And when I come to call the people to account, I will certainly hold them responsible for their sins.”
35 Then the Lord sent a great plague upon the people because they had worshiped the calf Aaron had made.
There was so much the Lord spoke to me about this passage and I will have to separate it by verse as it was given to me. The story of the Golden Calf should be familiar to many believers because it is a story of rebellion and impatience. It is a story in which we learn as believers what God will tolerate and what He will not. It is a story that serves as a type and shadow of Moses and Jesus; how Moses intercedes on behalf of the children of Israel and how Jesus intercedes on our behalf to the Father constantly. It is a story that teaches us there are consequences for our actions both good and bad. It is a story in which we see the anger of God yet are able to encounter the mercy and grace of God.
The story begins with the children of Israel growing impatient with Moses who was still on top of the mountain talking to God for them. They went to Aaron and asked him to make them gods in which they could follow since Moses was basically MIA (missing in action). Aaron agrees in v.2 So Aaron said, “Take the gold rings from the ears of your wives and sons and daughters, and bring them to me.” Now what is interesting about Aaron's response was not only did he agree, but more so the fact that he was addressing the men, the husbands, and the fathers. The gold rings were a sign of slavery/bondage while they were in Egypt. Aaron only asked for the gold of the wives (reproduction), sons (next generation of leaders), and daughters (reproduction for the next generations to come)...he did not ask for the gold of the men. [why is this?] Only the men remained in bondage while their families were released. The head of the family unit was not yet released ;however, everything up under him was...the wife, the son, and the daughter. If the head of a body is still in captivity then the entire body remains in captivity regardless if the arms and the legs are free. The body follows where the head goes. Think about it this way, if you put someone in a head lock you control their head by having a grip around their neck. Wherever you take that person's head their body has to follow as well. Although the body was released the head was not. This is what was taking place with God's people. For so many generations the body (wife, son, daughter) was released however the head (husband/father) was still in captivity. This is the reason Jesus had to come to Earth in the form of man in order to release the body of Christ. Once he died and rose again the head was released therefore allowing the rest of humanity to be free.
We are also slowly seeing this within our own homes. And in this season God is calling for a restructure of the house. He is calling his sons back into their rightful places as men, as husbands, as fathers. I myself have seen this transformation take place even in my own personal life. My son's father has really grown and matured over the past 2-3 years. He has even found himself a wife and one whom I get along with great. He has a sense of peace about himself and in his home. He has even started taking a more active role in our sons life and that was a prayer answered from many years ago. I can see how God has restored their relationship to the point where my son actually wants to go spend time with his dad and step mother...this has never been the case prior. I knew no one could do this but God. But as a mother I also knew I had to take my hands and mouth off of this man and allow God to step in and do what he needed to do. Sometimes as women we get impatient and take matters into our own hands. Other times when we don't get our way we run off at the mouth and we end up killing our men before they even have a chance of redemption and we cannot seem to understand why they are still falling by the waste side, when we are the ones undermining God's authority and adding our won two cents when we really need to sit down and simply SHUT UP! (But that part of my life is another blog for the future).
For years the women have been the head of households...raising children, working multiple jobs, paying the bills, maintaining the house, etc. We are slowly seeing a transition taking place in which the men are being released in this season. We are slowly seeing the call for men to step forward and take their rightful place among God's children and in their homes. The enemy knows that if he can cut off the head of a body then the entire body will crumble and die. As a culture we have seen this happen for decades if not centuries. We have witnessed the enemy take control of our men, our husbands, our fathers, and our sons; and break them down to a level in which they no longer recognized themselves. They no longer saw their power that came from God, they no longer recognized their purpose in life. They became deaf to the voice of God and as a result were lost for so long...
Aaron only asked for the rings out of their ears...not their noses, or their necks, or their arms, or their feet....only their ears! Releasing their ears allowed them to be able to hear. Romans 10:17 So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ. At the same time their ears were being released from their rings of gold; the Word of God was being spoken to Moses on top of the mountain. As a mother I tell my son that I have satellite ears and it was a gift God gave me the moment I became a mother. For some reason a mother can hear at a higher level than she could prior to becoming a mother. The same can be stated on a spiritual level. The moment we are freed from our bondage of slavery we are able to hear things from God on a level in which we were not prior accustomed to. This is our indication that freedom has taken place. Recently my Bishop challenge us to go deeper in our devotionals during the week and my ears have been burning ever since because of what God has placed in them; hence the reason for the blogs. We have to be obedient to His word and know when to simply be still. Bishop also told us that God has answers prepared for us, we just cannot hear them because we have to get closer to God in order to understand. This is where we as believers should be DAILY...not once a week or twice a month...DAILY.
[Back to the passage]
What is interesting about the men at this time was that, they were quick to release their wives and their children; however, they never thought to release themselves. The men petitioned a high priest [Aaron] to create gods in which they could SEE not HEAR. They were not concerned about what God was SAYING to Moses on top of the mountain. They wanted to see something tangible in order to follow it. It is amazing because this same mindset continues to torment many men today. So many times I meet men who are focused on what they can see rather than listening to God and following his direction over their lives. A lot of men like bright flashy metal objects...oh you think I am lying and being harsh... try me. Men like cars, and rims, and money, and big houses, and electronics, and other gadgets, and so many other flashy shiny things. There are so many songs playing on radios today that continue to feed this alter ego mindset of men as they seek these tangible objects for personal satisfaction, rather than seeking God for his eternal satisfaction and stability.This mindset has not changed at all. The deal breaker was that if there was to be a golden calf created then the sacrifice would be the head of the house; in order for their wants and desires to be fulfilled. What the men did not know at this time was that although there was a request being honored the price to pay far exceeded that of gold rings. Eventually the price to be paid would be death. This is what sin does...it leads us to a life of death and separation from God.
Since their ears were still covered in the gold from their past they were not able to hear and receive the directions and provisions God was making for them. They maintained a mindset of slavery in which they were forever subjective to based on the Egyptian customs and philosophies. Their concept of servings gods [plural] was correct however their method in which they intended to carry out their worship was wrong. We serve a great God who operates in the trinity being of one body. The men asked for a [singular] golden calf yet referred to it as gods; one body multiple positions. We serve ONE God however we also understand that within that ONE God is the Father; the Son; and the Holy Spirit. Their concept was correct their method was corrupt.
As we reflect back over God's word and his teaching we must re-evaluate our own situations. What is covering our ears from hearing the Word of God in our own lives? What continues to hold us hostage in a mindset of slavery to sin that we cannot rid ourselves due to our impatience and lack of knowledge [ignorance]? What have we allowed the enemy to bribe us with in order to get a cheap low budget satisfaction that we have traded our freedom for a temporary high or fix? What is it that we are locked up in (bondage) behind because we want to stay in our old mindsets and ways of doing things? These are just a few questions we should be asking ourselves in order to know if we have really surrendered ourselves over to God completely. Have we given God all of us? Are we patient enough to wait for His word to come to us in God's timing and not our own? What are you still holding on to that is blocking your ability to hear God clearly? Think about it!
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New Living Translation (NLT)
Exodus 32
The Gold Calf
1 When the people saw how long it was taking Moses to come back down the mountain, they gathered around Aaron. “Come on,” they said, “make us some gods who can lead us. We don’t know what happened to this fellow Moses, who brought us here from the land of Egypt.”
2 So Aaron said, “Take the gold rings from the ears of your wives and sons and daughters, and bring them to me.”
3 All the people took the gold rings from their ears and brought them to Aaron. 4 Then Aaron took the gold, melted it down, and molded it into the shape of a calf. When the people saw it, they exclaimed, “O Israel, these are the gods who brought you out of the land of Egypt!”
5 Aaron saw how excited the people were, so he built an altar in front of the calf. Then he announced, “Tomorrow will be a festival to the Lord!”
6 The people got up early the next morning to sacrifice burnt offerings and peace offerings. After this, they celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry.
7 The Lord told Moses, “Quick! Go down the mountain! Your people whom you brought from the land of Egypt have corrupted themselves. 8 How quickly they have turned away from the way I commanded them to live! They have melted down gold and made a calf, and they have bowed down and sacrificed to it. They are saying, ‘These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt.’”
9 Then the Lord said, “I have seen how stubborn and rebellious these people are. 10 Now leave me alone so my fierce anger can blaze against them, and I will destroy them. Then I will make you, Moses, into a great nation.”
11 But Moses tried to pacify the Lord his God. “O Lord!” he said. “Why are you so angry with your own people whom you brought from the land of Egypt with such great power and such a strong hand? 12 Why let the Egyptians say, ‘Their God rescued them with the evil intention of slaughtering them in the mountains and wiping them from the face of the earth’? Turn away from your fierce anger. Change your mind about this terrible disaster you have threatened against your people! 13 Remember your servants Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.[a] You bound yourself with an oath to them, saying, ‘I will make your descendants as numerous as the stars of heaven. And I will give them all of this land that I have promised to your descendants, and they will possess it forever.’”
14 So the Lord changed his mind about the terrible disaster he had threatened to bring on his people.
15 Then Moses turned and went down the mountain. He held in his hands the two stone tablets inscribed with the terms of the covenant.[b] They were inscribed on both sides, front and back. 16 These tablets were God’s work; the words on them were written by God himself.
17 When Joshua heard the boisterous noise of the people shouting below them, he exclaimed to Moses, “It sounds like war in the camp!”
18 But Moses replied, “No, it’s not a shout of victory nor the wailing of defeat. I hear the sound of a celebration.”
19 When they came near the camp, Moses saw the calf and the dancing, and he burned with anger. He threw the stone tablets to the ground, smashing them at the foot of the mountain. 20 He took the calf they had made and burned it. Then he ground it into powder, threw it into the water, and forced the people to drink it.
21 Finally, he turned to Aaron and demanded, “What did these people do to you to make you bring such terrible sin upon them?”
22 “Don’t get so upset, my lord,” Aaron replied. “You yourself know how evil these people are. 23 They said to me, ‘Make us gods who will lead us. We don’t know what happened to this fellow Moses, who brought us here from the land of Egypt.’ 24 So I told them, ‘Whoever has gold jewelry, take it off.’ When they brought it to me, I simply threw it into the fire—and out came this calf!”
25 Moses saw that Aaron had let the people get completely out of control, much to the amusement of their enemies.[c] 26 So he stood at the entrance to the camp and shouted, “All of you who are on the Lord’s side, come here and join me.” And all the Levites gathered around him.
27 Moses told them, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: Each of you, take your swords and go back and forth from one end of the camp to the other. Kill everyone—even your brothers, friends, and neighbors.” 28 The Levites obeyed Moses’ command, and about 3,000 people died that day.
29 Then Moses told the Levites, “Today you have ordained yourselves[d] for the service of the Lord, for you obeyed him even though it meant killing your own sons and brothers. Today you have earned a blessing.”
Moses Intercedes for Israel
30 The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a terrible sin, but I will go back up to the Lord on the mountain. Perhaps I will be able to obtain forgiveness[e] for your sin.”
31 So Moses returned to the Lord and said, “Oh, what a terrible sin these people have committed. They have made gods of gold for themselves. 32 But now, if you will only forgive their sin—but if not, erase my name from the record you have written!”
33 But the Lord replied to Moses, “No, I will erase the name of everyone who has sinned against me. 34 Now go, lead the people to the place I told you about. Look! My angel will lead the way before you. And when I come to call the people to account, I will certainly hold them responsible for their sins.”
35 Then the Lord sent a great plague upon the people because they had worshiped the calf Aaron had made.
There was so much the Lord spoke to me about this passage and I will have to separate it by verse as it was given to me. The story of the Golden Calf should be familiar to many believers because it is a story of rebellion and impatience. It is a story in which we learn as believers what God will tolerate and what He will not. It is a story that serves as a type and shadow of Moses and Jesus; how Moses intercedes on behalf of the children of Israel and how Jesus intercedes on our behalf to the Father constantly. It is a story that teaches us there are consequences for our actions both good and bad. It is a story in which we see the anger of God yet are able to encounter the mercy and grace of God.
The story begins with the children of Israel growing impatient with Moses who was still on top of the mountain talking to God for them. They went to Aaron and asked him to make them gods in which they could follow since Moses was basically MIA (missing in action). Aaron agrees in v.2 So Aaron said, “Take the gold rings from the ears of your wives and sons and daughters, and bring them to me.” Now what is interesting about Aaron's response was not only did he agree, but more so the fact that he was addressing the men, the husbands, and the fathers. The gold rings were a sign of slavery/bondage while they were in Egypt. Aaron only asked for the gold of the wives (reproduction), sons (next generation of leaders), and daughters (reproduction for the next generations to come)...he did not ask for the gold of the men. [why is this?] Only the men remained in bondage while their families were released. The head of the family unit was not yet released ;however, everything up under him was...the wife, the son, and the daughter. If the head of a body is still in captivity then the entire body remains in captivity regardless if the arms and the legs are free. The body follows where the head goes. Think about it this way, if you put someone in a head lock you control their head by having a grip around their neck. Wherever you take that person's head their body has to follow as well. Although the body was released the head was not. This is what was taking place with God's people. For so many generations the body (wife, son, daughter) was released however the head (husband/father) was still in captivity. This is the reason Jesus had to come to Earth in the form of man in order to release the body of Christ. Once he died and rose again the head was released therefore allowing the rest of humanity to be free.
We are also slowly seeing this within our own homes. And in this season God is calling for a restructure of the house. He is calling his sons back into their rightful places as men, as husbands, as fathers. I myself have seen this transformation take place even in my own personal life. My son's father has really grown and matured over the past 2-3 years. He has even found himself a wife and one whom I get along with great. He has a sense of peace about himself and in his home. He has even started taking a more active role in our sons life and that was a prayer answered from many years ago. I can see how God has restored their relationship to the point where my son actually wants to go spend time with his dad and step mother...this has never been the case prior. I knew no one could do this but God. But as a mother I also knew I had to take my hands and mouth off of this man and allow God to step in and do what he needed to do. Sometimes as women we get impatient and take matters into our own hands. Other times when we don't get our way we run off at the mouth and we end up killing our men before they even have a chance of redemption and we cannot seem to understand why they are still falling by the waste side, when we are the ones undermining God's authority and adding our won two cents when we really need to sit down and simply SHUT UP! (But that part of my life is another blog for the future).
For years the women have been the head of households...raising children, working multiple jobs, paying the bills, maintaining the house, etc. We are slowly seeing a transition taking place in which the men are being released in this season. We are slowly seeing the call for men to step forward and take their rightful place among God's children and in their homes. The enemy knows that if he can cut off the head of a body then the entire body will crumble and die. As a culture we have seen this happen for decades if not centuries. We have witnessed the enemy take control of our men, our husbands, our fathers, and our sons; and break them down to a level in which they no longer recognized themselves. They no longer saw their power that came from God, they no longer recognized their purpose in life. They became deaf to the voice of God and as a result were lost for so long...
Aaron only asked for the rings out of their ears...not their noses, or their necks, or their arms, or their feet....only their ears! Releasing their ears allowed them to be able to hear. Romans 10:17 So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ. At the same time their ears were being released from their rings of gold; the Word of God was being spoken to Moses on top of the mountain. As a mother I tell my son that I have satellite ears and it was a gift God gave me the moment I became a mother. For some reason a mother can hear at a higher level than she could prior to becoming a mother. The same can be stated on a spiritual level. The moment we are freed from our bondage of slavery we are able to hear things from God on a level in which we were not prior accustomed to. This is our indication that freedom has taken place. Recently my Bishop challenge us to go deeper in our devotionals during the week and my ears have been burning ever since because of what God has placed in them; hence the reason for the blogs. We have to be obedient to His word and know when to simply be still. Bishop also told us that God has answers prepared for us, we just cannot hear them because we have to get closer to God in order to understand. This is where we as believers should be DAILY...not once a week or twice a month...DAILY.
[Back to the passage]
What is interesting about the men at this time was that, they were quick to release their wives and their children; however, they never thought to release themselves. The men petitioned a high priest [Aaron] to create gods in which they could SEE not HEAR. They were not concerned about what God was SAYING to Moses on top of the mountain. They wanted to see something tangible in order to follow it. It is amazing because this same mindset continues to torment many men today. So many times I meet men who are focused on what they can see rather than listening to God and following his direction over their lives. A lot of men like bright flashy metal objects...oh you think I am lying and being harsh... try me. Men like cars, and rims, and money, and big houses, and electronics, and other gadgets, and so many other flashy shiny things. There are so many songs playing on radios today that continue to feed this alter ego mindset of men as they seek these tangible objects for personal satisfaction, rather than seeking God for his eternal satisfaction and stability.This mindset has not changed at all. The deal breaker was that if there was to be a golden calf created then the sacrifice would be the head of the house; in order for their wants and desires to be fulfilled. What the men did not know at this time was that although there was a request being honored the price to pay far exceeded that of gold rings. Eventually the price to be paid would be death. This is what sin does...it leads us to a life of death and separation from God.
Since their ears were still covered in the gold from their past they were not able to hear and receive the directions and provisions God was making for them. They maintained a mindset of slavery in which they were forever subjective to based on the Egyptian customs and philosophies. Their concept of servings gods [plural] was correct however their method in which they intended to carry out their worship was wrong. We serve a great God who operates in the trinity being of one body. The men asked for a [singular] golden calf yet referred to it as gods; one body multiple positions. We serve ONE God however we also understand that within that ONE God is the Father; the Son; and the Holy Spirit. Their concept was correct their method was corrupt.
As we reflect back over God's word and his teaching we must re-evaluate our own situations. What is covering our ears from hearing the Word of God in our own lives? What continues to hold us hostage in a mindset of slavery to sin that we cannot rid ourselves due to our impatience and lack of knowledge [ignorance]? What have we allowed the enemy to bribe us with in order to get a cheap low budget satisfaction that we have traded our freedom for a temporary high or fix? What is it that we are locked up in (bondage) behind because we want to stay in our old mindsets and ways of doing things? These are just a few questions we should be asking ourselves in order to know if we have really surrendered ourselves over to God completely. Have we given God all of us? Are we patient enough to wait for His word to come to us in God's timing and not our own? What are you still holding on to that is blocking your ability to hear God clearly? Think about it!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Dear Adam
I always have this feeling that my husband will be reading my blog without my knowledge so I write him letters and post them so that he is aware that I am praying and thinking of him. I like to think that our spirits sometimes leave our bodies in our sleep and meet in the heavens just to sit and talk as we patiently await for God to unlock the mysteries of the spiritual so that our natural bodies can experience what our spirits have already developed. I sometimes think that as he is reading my words I post for the world to see; he understands they are only meant for the heart of ONE and in this moment where we are being refined he knows that his wife will forever embrace the beauty of time.
My Adam,
I am constantly praying for you. Since you have yet to be given access to me I can only write you these letters in secrecy for the entire world to see. I guess my mindset is why wait for you to be present with me before I confess my undying love for you semi-intimately. Granted I don't know your name or even recognize your face; however I know that there is a connection between us that I long to embrace. Just to see you smile as you acknowledge the beauty I hold and understand the pride that God allows you to unfold mesmerizes me beyond capacity. I adore your strength, your courage, your faith. I admire your wisdom, your style, your grace. I appreciate the sacrifices you continue to make, for a man of your stature is not easy to break. Thank you for holding me, for loving me, for just being there. Thank you for your friendship and the kind words that you share. Thank you for your time, your energy and more. Thank you for allowing me to walk through this unopened door. For God as allowed us to enter into a state in which many only long for. He has seen our heart's desires and the things that we have hoped for. I pray for you always and carry you in my heart. I long for the day in which we can hear "let no man tare them apart". I admire you for the man of God you are and how you allow his words to be synchronized in your heart. Understand that I am a lady awaiting your arrival and in that moments time we can be two beings acting as one in this life of survival. You are my king, my leader, my strength...you are the only one who can be deemed heaven sent. Thank you for your patience as God continues to mold me, because I was not quite the wife you wanted nor the wife I needed to be. I am on my way... this diamond in the rough. But God has put me in a secret place where only you have the knowledge of. So I will wait ever so quietly for God to reveal to you where I stand; and praying that with ever step you take...it only transitions you into a better man.
With all my love,
Your Rib
My Adam,
I am constantly praying for you. Since you have yet to be given access to me I can only write you these letters in secrecy for the entire world to see. I guess my mindset is why wait for you to be present with me before I confess my undying love for you semi-intimately. Granted I don't know your name or even recognize your face; however I know that there is a connection between us that I long to embrace. Just to see you smile as you acknowledge the beauty I hold and understand the pride that God allows you to unfold mesmerizes me beyond capacity. I adore your strength, your courage, your faith. I admire your wisdom, your style, your grace. I appreciate the sacrifices you continue to make, for a man of your stature is not easy to break. Thank you for holding me, for loving me, for just being there. Thank you for your friendship and the kind words that you share. Thank you for your time, your energy and more. Thank you for allowing me to walk through this unopened door. For God as allowed us to enter into a state in which many only long for. He has seen our heart's desires and the things that we have hoped for. I pray for you always and carry you in my heart. I long for the day in which we can hear "let no man tare them apart". I admire you for the man of God you are and how you allow his words to be synchronized in your heart. Understand that I am a lady awaiting your arrival and in that moments time we can be two beings acting as one in this life of survival. You are my king, my leader, my strength...you are the only one who can be deemed heaven sent. Thank you for your patience as God continues to mold me, because I was not quite the wife you wanted nor the wife I needed to be. I am on my way... this diamond in the rough. But God has put me in a secret place where only you have the knowledge of. So I will wait ever so quietly for God to reveal to you where I stand; and praying that with ever step you take...it only transitions you into a better man.
With all my love,
Your Rib
Monday, July 4, 2011
"I Will Wait For You "- P4CM Official Poet Janette
This chick is a beast...she speaks directly as if she interviewed me and wrote all that I was thinking and feeling in this piece. By far my favorite.
My Honey
He makes me wonder what life could possibly be; if it has granted me an opportunity to embrace a sweet passion that has been foreign to me.
Perhaps a taste of something I've never been fortunate to enjoy, is sitting close to me with an aroma my soul has longed for.
His words are like honey which draws me closer as if I'm a wondering bee, searching for the one that drives my curiosity while my yearning is fulfilled by the touch of his generosity.
No one has ever intrigued me from a distance like such a man; a term used lightly due to my recent experiences..
The Master created a perfect piece of art the day he created this human. The ambiance of perfection, reflection, and expectation is within the very reach of my heart's demand.
Perhaps a taste of something I've never been fortunate to enjoy, is sitting close to me with an aroma my soul has longed for.
His words are like honey which draws me closer as if I'm a wondering bee, searching for the one that drives my curiosity while my yearning is fulfilled by the touch of his generosity.
No one has ever intrigued me from a distance like such a man; a term used lightly due to my recent experiences..
The Master created a perfect piece of art the day he created this human. The ambiance of perfection, reflection, and expectation is within the very reach of my heart's demand.
Welcome Back....
It has been almost a year since I have written anything on my blog. I stopped writing for various reasons and a lot of it had to do with distractions in life. The worry about if my soul mate would ever find me; how to raise a boy into a man (especially when there was no consistent example in my own life); wondering what the next phase of my life would look like; understanding and learning who I am; teaching and training the next generation (who seem to have given up on making it on their own); realizing who are my friends and who can't be trusted; etc etc etc.
Since July 27, 2010 so much has happened in my life. To begin with I changed careers. YES....I left the television world and ventured into my true calling which is to teach. This first year as a teacher was not has bad as many had said it could be; however, it was no cake walk by far. I love my school and I love where God has placed me. I am also blown away how God ordered my steps in order to get me to the place I needed to be in order to fulfill my calling as a teacher. The relationships I build with those students will last a lifetime. The impact I had on them in just my first year was amazing and I know it was no one but God who allowed it to come to pass. So for that alone I am truly grateful and humble for the opportunity.
The fall of 2010 was not so good. I lost my grandmother in October and that was by far the hardest thing I have endured in a long time. I felt like there was so much more I needed to accomplish and I needed her to be here to witness it. I fell into a state of depression for a while and I beat myself up because I felt like I wasted time and years doing nothing but running behind a man and I should have been focused on what was more important so that she could have been here to witness all of my accomplishments. Needless to say I was allowed freedom from that mindset and I have been pushing myself everyday to get things crossed off of my list. I miss her dearly and I know she is watching over me from heaven as I continue to follow Christ and become what God has created me to be which includes GREATNESS!
The New Year was a year of freedom /discipline...and a chance to walk into this world with my head held high and my confidence restored; then I was hit with another major blow. My dear childhood friend Kevin Reynolds passed away at 29 years old. This was becoming to much to take on, first my granny now one of my friends. It was hard to say the least to watch the casket close on someone I never thought I wouldn't see again. His passing gave me peace to know that despite all that he endured in life at the end of it all he gave himself to God and his journals were shared with us to see how his heart was pure before God before he was called home. Kevin's passing further made me realize that life is too short and it is not promised to any of us. What if God was to call me home...what on my list has been accomplished for him to say to me "well done thy good and faithful servant'? So I push myself to become a better woman, mother, wife, sister, friend, teacher, leader, writer, and all around person.
I have been enrolled in DBU for a year now and I have only 6 more classes to complete before I can walk across that stage. May 2012 cannot get here fast enough. I love what I am learning however being a teacher and a student at the same time is a lot of work but God has sustained me to make it through and I am too close to turn around.
I recently celebrated my 29th birthday and when I tell you that I have NEVER had a birthday like this one, I am telling you the truth. What I mean has nothing to do with the celebration I was able to have but the death I was able to experience. See a few days before my 29th birthday I had a heart attack....not physically but spiritually. I was weak, lonely, afraid, upset, and more. I laid across my bed and simply poured my heart out to God. I was not happy with where I was at in life and I felt a separation between God and me...which hurt because I could not get to him. This is what sin does to us. Sin separates us from God and I found that to be true this past month. I recently was involved with a young man who did not belong to God. I allowed him to sweet talk me and come around my friends...he played the perfect role of what I wanted on the outside but his heart was pure of malicious hate and pride. It took me a while to sit and listen to God inform me about this young man and then I began to see the signs and boy were those signs huge warnings. There were some things he would say and do that were not of God yet I ignored them because I had someone giving me attention and time. I had someone who would wine and dine me and would hold me when I wanted and who would simply talk to me...heck he even helped me with my homework. But he was not God's son...nor was he my husband. Come to find out he was still another woman's husband and father to three children...talk about a heart breaker. So I spent my time mad at God for allowing me to fall for such a man when in actuality He did no such thing...he actually was warning me to shut it down and cut it off asap. AND THANK GOD I DID! But that left a void and I felt miserable because now I felt like a failure and my hopes and dreams of ever being happily married to MY HUSBAND seemed so far away to almost none existent. So I threw a fit...I mean a major fit. But the day of my birthday God simply blew my mind at church and gave me a word that was so comforting to my spirit that I knew I would be OK. That day I sent him a text and told him he would never hear from me or see me again. I prayed for him and moved on. He called me weird and extra holy but that was fine. I WAS FREE OF HIM...that was a few weeks before my birthday.
I died on June 26, 2011...I died to the old Natalie and her old mindset and her old behaviors and her old ways of acting out and her old ways of making excuses and her old ways of blaming others for her own mishaps. That chick had to die and she is long gone. I can't really explain this feeling of dying to ones own self but I finally get it. Pastor Tim talked about this all the time yet I still did not fully understand. I thought I had died to myself because hey I was not clubbing like I use to, I was not smoking like I use to, I was not lying like I use to, I was not fighting like I use to, I was not having sex like I use to, I was not doing a lot of things like I use to....however spiritually I was still locked up in a state in which there was no freedom; just constant reminders about how I was raised to do things and handle situations. BUT GOD...released me from that slavery mindset and I have not looked back yet. SHE DOES NOT EXIST...SHE IS DEAD TO ME!
I cried out because I saw my mother, and my grandmothers, and my aunts, and my sister and my cousins. I saw women whose marriages had failed and I saw the pain on their faces that poured from their hearts, and THAT was the woman I did not want to become. Someone has to break the generational curse of failed marriages and bitter women in my family. I refuse, and I mean that with every ounce of my being, to become another woman in my family who simply did not make it. I want that agape love of God and I want him to send me a man that has a heart after his own. A man that is only for me and we will set the standard of marriage, family ,and unity for our children/grandchildren. For the first time we will be the names that our future generations celebrate at family reunions because it will all stem back to us and the love we have for each other and the love that we have for God. We will be the "Big Mama and Papa" that our grandchildren and their grandchildren reverence and speak highly of. We will set the standard of excellence and prestige because our family will know being average is not acceptable...just making it to survive is not in our blood...making excuses not to become great will not work. Our children will be able to stand on our shoulders and understand that they have to pick up where we left off and we won't leave them in poverty to start off. We won't leave them in foolishness and bitterness and old family secrets. No our children will know that their parents were GREAT and blessed beyond measure. Our children will have a real life example of what love is and what marriage is. Our sons will be able to see what makes a man a man and what a husband /father looks like. Our daughters will be able to see what makes a woman a lady and how a wife treats her husband and that a mother is a comforter and protector. We will be the first ones in our families to celebrate 50 years of marriage and 75 years of marriage. There is not one person in my immediate family who has accomplished this and that is unfortunate to me.
I am just excited about where God has brought me spiritually. I am excited for his WORD and how it continues to penetrate my heart. I am amazed at how God continues to blow my mind every single day with the things he has done thus far since my 29th birthday...even my smallest requests he has answered and that brings my heart joy and peace to know that my Daddy is listening to my every word. It also is a reminder that my words have life and what I speak from my heart does not fall on deaf ears. I am excited about what God is about to do in my life. The first 29 years have been hell with a few bright moments OH BUT GOD said my latter is greater and I am holding him to that!
Since July 27, 2010 so much has happened in my life. To begin with I changed careers. YES....I left the television world and ventured into my true calling which is to teach. This first year as a teacher was not has bad as many had said it could be; however, it was no cake walk by far. I love my school and I love where God has placed me. I am also blown away how God ordered my steps in order to get me to the place I needed to be in order to fulfill my calling as a teacher. The relationships I build with those students will last a lifetime. The impact I had on them in just my first year was amazing and I know it was no one but God who allowed it to come to pass. So for that alone I am truly grateful and humble for the opportunity.
The fall of 2010 was not so good. I lost my grandmother in October and that was by far the hardest thing I have endured in a long time. I felt like there was so much more I needed to accomplish and I needed her to be here to witness it. I fell into a state of depression for a while and I beat myself up because I felt like I wasted time and years doing nothing but running behind a man and I should have been focused on what was more important so that she could have been here to witness all of my accomplishments. Needless to say I was allowed freedom from that mindset and I have been pushing myself everyday to get things crossed off of my list. I miss her dearly and I know she is watching over me from heaven as I continue to follow Christ and become what God has created me to be which includes GREATNESS!
The New Year was a year of freedom /discipline...and a chance to walk into this world with my head held high and my confidence restored; then I was hit with another major blow. My dear childhood friend Kevin Reynolds passed away at 29 years old. This was becoming to much to take on, first my granny now one of my friends. It was hard to say the least to watch the casket close on someone I never thought I wouldn't see again. His passing gave me peace to know that despite all that he endured in life at the end of it all he gave himself to God and his journals were shared with us to see how his heart was pure before God before he was called home. Kevin's passing further made me realize that life is too short and it is not promised to any of us. What if God was to call me home...what on my list has been accomplished for him to say to me "well done thy good and faithful servant'? So I push myself to become a better woman, mother, wife, sister, friend, teacher, leader, writer, and all around person.
I have been enrolled in DBU for a year now and I have only 6 more classes to complete before I can walk across that stage. May 2012 cannot get here fast enough. I love what I am learning however being a teacher and a student at the same time is a lot of work but God has sustained me to make it through and I am too close to turn around.
I recently celebrated my 29th birthday and when I tell you that I have NEVER had a birthday like this one, I am telling you the truth. What I mean has nothing to do with the celebration I was able to have but the death I was able to experience. See a few days before my 29th birthday I had a heart attack....not physically but spiritually. I was weak, lonely, afraid, upset, and more. I laid across my bed and simply poured my heart out to God. I was not happy with where I was at in life and I felt a separation between God and me...which hurt because I could not get to him. This is what sin does to us. Sin separates us from God and I found that to be true this past month. I recently was involved with a young man who did not belong to God. I allowed him to sweet talk me and come around my friends...he played the perfect role of what I wanted on the outside but his heart was pure of malicious hate and pride. It took me a while to sit and listen to God inform me about this young man and then I began to see the signs and boy were those signs huge warnings. There were some things he would say and do that were not of God yet I ignored them because I had someone giving me attention and time. I had someone who would wine and dine me and would hold me when I wanted and who would simply talk to me...heck he even helped me with my homework. But he was not God's son...nor was he my husband. Come to find out he was still another woman's husband and father to three children...talk about a heart breaker. So I spent my time mad at God for allowing me to fall for such a man when in actuality He did no such thing...he actually was warning me to shut it down and cut it off asap. AND THANK GOD I DID! But that left a void and I felt miserable because now I felt like a failure and my hopes and dreams of ever being happily married to MY HUSBAND seemed so far away to almost none existent. So I threw a fit...I mean a major fit. But the day of my birthday God simply blew my mind at church and gave me a word that was so comforting to my spirit that I knew I would be OK. That day I sent him a text and told him he would never hear from me or see me again. I prayed for him and moved on. He called me weird and extra holy but that was fine. I WAS FREE OF HIM...that was a few weeks before my birthday.
I died on June 26, 2011...I died to the old Natalie and her old mindset and her old behaviors and her old ways of acting out and her old ways of making excuses and her old ways of blaming others for her own mishaps. That chick had to die and she is long gone. I can't really explain this feeling of dying to ones own self but I finally get it. Pastor Tim talked about this all the time yet I still did not fully understand. I thought I had died to myself because hey I was not clubbing like I use to, I was not smoking like I use to, I was not lying like I use to, I was not fighting like I use to, I was not having sex like I use to, I was not doing a lot of things like I use to....however spiritually I was still locked up in a state in which there was no freedom; just constant reminders about how I was raised to do things and handle situations. BUT GOD...released me from that slavery mindset and I have not looked back yet. SHE DOES NOT EXIST...SHE IS DEAD TO ME!
I cried out because I saw my mother, and my grandmothers, and my aunts, and my sister and my cousins. I saw women whose marriages had failed and I saw the pain on their faces that poured from their hearts, and THAT was the woman I did not want to become. Someone has to break the generational curse of failed marriages and bitter women in my family. I refuse, and I mean that with every ounce of my being, to become another woman in my family who simply did not make it. I want that agape love of God and I want him to send me a man that has a heart after his own. A man that is only for me and we will set the standard of marriage, family ,and unity for our children/grandchildren. For the first time we will be the names that our future generations celebrate at family reunions because it will all stem back to us and the love we have for each other and the love that we have for God. We will be the "Big Mama and Papa" that our grandchildren and their grandchildren reverence and speak highly of. We will set the standard of excellence and prestige because our family will know being average is not acceptable...just making it to survive is not in our blood...making excuses not to become great will not work. Our children will be able to stand on our shoulders and understand that they have to pick up where we left off and we won't leave them in poverty to start off. We won't leave them in foolishness and bitterness and old family secrets. No our children will know that their parents were GREAT and blessed beyond measure. Our children will have a real life example of what love is and what marriage is. Our sons will be able to see what makes a man a man and what a husband /father looks like. Our daughters will be able to see what makes a woman a lady and how a wife treats her husband and that a mother is a comforter and protector. We will be the first ones in our families to celebrate 50 years of marriage and 75 years of marriage. There is not one person in my immediate family who has accomplished this and that is unfortunate to me.
I am just excited about where God has brought me spiritually. I am excited for his WORD and how it continues to penetrate my heart. I am amazed at how God continues to blow my mind every single day with the things he has done thus far since my 29th birthday...even my smallest requests he has answered and that brings my heart joy and peace to know that my Daddy is listening to my every word. It also is a reminder that my words have life and what I speak from my heart does not fall on deaf ears. I am excited about what God is about to do in my life. The first 29 years have been hell with a few bright moments OH BUT GOD said my latter is greater and I am holding him to that!
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