This is for my grandmothers...whom I refer to as my Golden Girls (like the tv show). At my wedding they have to wear a gold dress...this includes my husband's grandmothers as well. I don't care what the wedding colors may be...they have to be in GOLD because they are my golden girls and when I think about them I think about Royalty!
RIP - Dorothy Bea Braswell (10/6/2010)
...Grandma I do this for you and everything I write will be for you to shine bright over me as I embrace this next phase of my journey! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU!
Golden Girl
How can I hate the person looking back at me?
Her curves make her unique and tranquility is mesmerizing
So different and rare, like fallen leaves from an old tree
Not really understanding the beauty her scars yearn to see
Old age and gray hair wrapped deep in a bun
Wrinkle skin and beauty marks shine brighter in the sun
Embarrassed about the way God allowed her to transform
Not understanding this is as beautiful as they become
The age of the seasoned, wise woman is who she is now
See the rings around her skin like an oak tree deep in the woods
Makes her realize the pain all these years, she has withstood
Not as fast as she was before but not still like her friends
Able to see the work of God each day the sun rises again
Looking back once more, a smile crawls across her face
She understands that aging is the power of God’s grace
He loved her so much he only rewarded her for so long
The sight of 90 years, creates a melody for a new song
She hears a familiar sound that brings joy into her heart
The 5 generations she has birthed, has given life a new start
She looks back at me and smiles with peace in her soul
Understanding now…she is just golden and not a day over being old
With Love,
N’Shae
Tha Non-Fiction Version
- Miss Natalie
- This is a way of escape to express myself to an audience without a capacity. This is my life, my strengths, my weakness, my fears, my hopes, my doubts, my everything. An Outlet of Relief!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
My Everything
To the secular this sounds like and ordinary man...but to those who know HIM, will totally understand
Everything
He is my everything…my days and my nights
Living life without him can be suicidal and I’m not willing to pay that price
I can’t imagine walking into this world without him standing there
Everyone around us… always calls him in their time of despair
I can’t be selfish and I knew I would have to share my love with others
But sometimes our secret moments are what really matters
See no one in this world can love me like him…and maybe never will
He has a heart bigger than 10 kings and can make nations stand still
Don’t be upset or envious about me and mines
He came after me…heck, I ran the first time
But I love him because he never stopped trying to get my attention
He spoiled with me things and treated me with love and affection
Oh I know I have the best love there is to have in such a time like this
A couple of years ago I would have said his love is the ishhh
But I can’t lower him to such a level as that
Instead all I can say this love is where it is at
When I am angry he gives me a place of peace
Never second guessing me but restoring my energy
When I am sad and feeling like I am all alone
He reminds me that he never left and with him is my home
So together we can build kingdoms for real kings and queens
Despite the unbalanced life…I follow in his dreams
I trust his words because he has yet to lie to me
And a love like that deserves more than the eye can see
So now do you understand why I call him my everything?
Because everything I am not….he comes in to make my life complete!
N’Shae 2007 ***
TOTAL WOMAN
TOTAL WOMAN
Dedicated to My Spiritual Mother: My First Lady
She is a woman not like all others
Her treasure is deep inside, that no one can bother
She is a creation from the Most High
She was made from a rib and blessed for the eye
Her beauty is not just physical but spiritual as well
Her mind speaks from wisdom, her heart filled with joy
She moves about in a mystical way, her feet never touch the floor
She has a heart of compassion and the strength to take the pain
She uses her most valuable resource to send down the rain
On a spiritual revolution, she fights with her tears and prayers
Not knowing the outcome at times, she always proves she cares
Keeping her faith in God, she knows everything is okay
Hoping for a better tomorrow, she goes to her knees to pray
Being a divine creation from God on High
This woman is a blessing, sometimes in disguise
No one knows her real features, and some might say she is crazy
But if you really know this Woman of God, you will know she is always a Lady
Unless you test her trust and patience, then she may come off a little mean
But in order to balance life as a whole, she has to always remain clean
Clean from blasphemy, adultery, and sin
Clean from all the evil in the world as well as the evil within
She is not the head of her home, however she knows her place
God told this sister in her ear, that she was a woman of grace
She never raises her voice, or even speaks in false tongues
She carries herself in a distinguished manner, like a Queen in her own kingdom
She is a work from God, a creation from on high
The blessings bestowed in her, makes tears flow from the eye
She is a mother, daughter, sister and a friend
A comforter, mentor, and teacher to the end
She has a distinct beauty that magnifies the soul
Whenever you see this woman, understand she has a heart of gold
God’s most prize possession, since she is His reproduction
In order to build His army, He will need her full conviction
A woman is who she is, with all of her armor and her shield
She is a woman of many aspects, here to do God’s will.
Natalie Freeman
2003
Dedicated to My Spiritual Mother: My First Lady
She is a woman not like all others
Her treasure is deep inside, that no one can bother
She is a creation from the Most High
She was made from a rib and blessed for the eye
Her beauty is not just physical but spiritual as well
Her mind speaks from wisdom, her heart filled with joy
She moves about in a mystical way, her feet never touch the floor
She has a heart of compassion and the strength to take the pain
She uses her most valuable resource to send down the rain
On a spiritual revolution, she fights with her tears and prayers
Not knowing the outcome at times, she always proves she cares
Keeping her faith in God, she knows everything is okay
Hoping for a better tomorrow, she goes to her knees to pray
Being a divine creation from God on High
This woman is a blessing, sometimes in disguise
No one knows her real features, and some might say she is crazy
But if you really know this Woman of God, you will know she is always a Lady
Unless you test her trust and patience, then she may come off a little mean
But in order to balance life as a whole, she has to always remain clean
Clean from blasphemy, adultery, and sin
Clean from all the evil in the world as well as the evil within
She is not the head of her home, however she knows her place
God told this sister in her ear, that she was a woman of grace
She never raises her voice, or even speaks in false tongues
She carries herself in a distinguished manner, like a Queen in her own kingdom
She is a work from God, a creation from on high
The blessings bestowed in her, makes tears flow from the eye
She is a mother, daughter, sister and a friend
A comforter, mentor, and teacher to the end
She has a distinct beauty that magnifies the soul
Whenever you see this woman, understand she has a heart of gold
God’s most prize possession, since she is His reproduction
In order to build His army, He will need her full conviction
A woman is who she is, with all of her armor and her shield
She is a woman of many aspects, here to do God’s will.
Natalie Freeman
2003
Daydreaming
When I wrote this one years ago...I thought it was simply a daydream...what I did not realize was that it was God showing me what I needed to be on the lookout for!
Daydreaming…
I see him in my dreams, in my spirit, in my realm
I wonder what he’s doing, if he’s happy, if he’s grim
No he doesn’t know me…and he probably never will
But I say a prayer for him, cause the thought of him gives me chills
I don’t know his name, his face, or his smile
I don’t know if he’s single or married with a child
I wonder what makes him wake… every single day
And if the morning sun brings happiness to his face
No he is not my soul mate. Well maybe in another life
Maybe once before he was my mistress or even my wife
Only God knows the passion that my heart seeks
And the fruit that bares from my soul that yearns for him to eat
So I sit and watch the trees flirt with the light brisk wind
And wonder if what I endure will ever come to an end
I have the hole where my heart used to be
And I know a transplant is coming to restore my energy
To give me back life and the last breath I once took
To look into my life and re-write this old book
And once I stand again and run to be free
I know that one I seek will be looking for me
N’Shae
6/13/07
Daydreaming…
I see him in my dreams, in my spirit, in my realm
I wonder what he’s doing, if he’s happy, if he’s grim
No he doesn’t know me…and he probably never will
But I say a prayer for him, cause the thought of him gives me chills
I don’t know his name, his face, or his smile
I don’t know if he’s single or married with a child
I wonder what makes him wake… every single day
And if the morning sun brings happiness to his face
No he is not my soul mate. Well maybe in another life
Maybe once before he was my mistress or even my wife
Only God knows the passion that my heart seeks
And the fruit that bares from my soul that yearns for him to eat
So I sit and watch the trees flirt with the light brisk wind
And wonder if what I endure will ever come to an end
I have the hole where my heart used to be
And I know a transplant is coming to restore my energy
To give me back life and the last breath I once took
To look into my life and re-write this old book
And once I stand again and run to be free
I know that one I seek will be looking for me
N’Shae
6/13/07
A Creation
Years ago, I asked God to show me who I was in his eyes and He gave me this...it still makes me emotional just going back over it!
A Creation…
She is me in the after life, a beautiful creature created with love and passion
Molded from pain and suffering but polished with hope and prosperity
The external parts of her are structured with strength to secure all valuable assets
The internal parts are like a delicate flower; soft and sweet like honey that nourishes the soul
Nothing can break her spirit and her determination was set before her entrance into the world
Faced with life’s trials and hardships, people turning their backs and closing their doors
Realizing love is a foolish antic played by those trying to gain higher access to fame
She pushes nonsense aside and seeks the one who whispered to her soul
Now awake, her eyes are those of angels able to see the spiritual phase as realistic
Aspirations take over her mind and cause her heart to find shelter
No longer gambling with finicky things and people who seemed to care
Driven by the force from her dreams that tells her happiness is far and beyond
In order to experience such a thing as success, she takes a voyage across a world no longer hers
She sees the things life has done to the beauty created by the one she loves the most
Tears overwhelm her internal beauty allowing anger to boil at a level that causes pain
Unable to face the ugliness that greed caused from every single man
Taken back to the thought of who she was before she was transformed into her new being
Understanding life is never easy and nothing given is really free, a price is paid somehow
She sees new opportunity in everything she is introduced too and things she stumbled upon
Changing her perception on life as whole and the methods in which she now travels
She is me in the current state of mind, the girl who wanted big but lived small
The one that chased after a vision that was planted in her womb before the stars were created
Heaven is her home now and she sits upon the billions who were called as she was
Destiny complete but the mission is still in full pursuit, to a paradise never seen before
A creation almost as beautiful as the sun saying hello and goodbye at the same time
Difficult for man to appreciate for her value has no monetary value but is rich beyond means
Set aside not for the satisfaction of a man, but for the one that created her for himself
Too see that such a creation as this, is rare, and can never be duplicated…so the mold was broken
She is who I was….who I continue to be…who I will end up like
She is me!
N’Shae 2007
A Creation…
She is me in the after life, a beautiful creature created with love and passion
Molded from pain and suffering but polished with hope and prosperity
The external parts of her are structured with strength to secure all valuable assets
The internal parts are like a delicate flower; soft and sweet like honey that nourishes the soul
Nothing can break her spirit and her determination was set before her entrance into the world
Faced with life’s trials and hardships, people turning their backs and closing their doors
Realizing love is a foolish antic played by those trying to gain higher access to fame
She pushes nonsense aside and seeks the one who whispered to her soul
Now awake, her eyes are those of angels able to see the spiritual phase as realistic
Aspirations take over her mind and cause her heart to find shelter
No longer gambling with finicky things and people who seemed to care
Driven by the force from her dreams that tells her happiness is far and beyond
In order to experience such a thing as success, she takes a voyage across a world no longer hers
She sees the things life has done to the beauty created by the one she loves the most
Tears overwhelm her internal beauty allowing anger to boil at a level that causes pain
Unable to face the ugliness that greed caused from every single man
Taken back to the thought of who she was before she was transformed into her new being
Understanding life is never easy and nothing given is really free, a price is paid somehow
She sees new opportunity in everything she is introduced too and things she stumbled upon
Changing her perception on life as whole and the methods in which she now travels
She is me in the current state of mind, the girl who wanted big but lived small
The one that chased after a vision that was planted in her womb before the stars were created
Heaven is her home now and she sits upon the billions who were called as she was
Destiny complete but the mission is still in full pursuit, to a paradise never seen before
A creation almost as beautiful as the sun saying hello and goodbye at the same time
Difficult for man to appreciate for her value has no monetary value but is rich beyond means
Set aside not for the satisfaction of a man, but for the one that created her for himself
Too see that such a creation as this, is rare, and can never be duplicated…so the mold was broken
She is who I was….who I continue to be…who I will end up like
She is me!
N’Shae 2007
It's Not Mine to Give
One of my favorites...I share this one with some of the young ladies in my youth group and others I mentor!
N’Shae
2007
It’s Not Mine To Give
Free your mind my brother for you are in over your head
My body is for me only...and not to be sleeping in your bed
I apologize if you thought this was all about you
But it's about the promise I made to God not a promise to my "boo"
So forgive me for being selfish and not willing to dare
But the love I have inside of me is for him whose last name I share
Yes I know you care about me and I am important to you too
But you don’t understand the holiness that I am going thru
See this is more than sharing something 'special' with me
This about my journey in life and not being compromising
I have to fight temptation and desires by all costs indeed
The reward in the end is what waters this old seed
See you don’t understand because your body controls you all day
My body is in check and my spirit is what guides the way
So take heed to these words and respect them or walk away
And a goodbye is in store if fornication is what will make you stay
So it's your choice... but my mind is made up on this issue
My body belongs to God, not myself... and definitely not you!
N’Shae
2007
LORD SHOW ME...
So one thing I received lately was the need to share my heart with the world for FREE! In obedience...ENJOY!
Lord Show Me…
Show me all your wondrous ways
Show me the former and latter days
Show me the secret places that you reside in
Show me the great picturesque ceilings of Heaven
Show me the room where you find rest
Show me the answers to all these tests
Show me the things never seen before by man
Show me the price of living with the worlds’ demand
Show me the depths of the ocean floor
Show me the paths to an open door
Show me your everlasting wisdom
Show me the wound I must grow from
Show me the paths of righteousness I must take
Show me the results of vows I break
Show me the light in which you lead and I follow
Show me the face of a man who is hollow
Show me the past and all its mistakes
Show me the children whom joy does embrace
Show me the ways in which you have prepared
Show me the steps to avoid frustration and despair
Show me the ambiance of holiness like no other
Show me the separation from flesh and its lover
Show me the peace you display all day
Show me the sun when the skies are gray
Show me the future in no particular order
Show me the sister who has no brother
Show me all these things and much more
Show me the way to walk into Heaven’s front door
N’Shae Feb. 2009
Lord Show Me…
Show me all your wondrous ways
Show me the former and latter days
Show me the secret places that you reside in
Show me the great picturesque ceilings of Heaven
Show me the room where you find rest
Show me the answers to all these tests
Show me the things never seen before by man
Show me the price of living with the worlds’ demand
Show me the depths of the ocean floor
Show me the paths to an open door
Show me your everlasting wisdom
Show me the wound I must grow from
Show me the paths of righteousness I must take
Show me the results of vows I break
Show me the light in which you lead and I follow
Show me the face of a man who is hollow
Show me the past and all its mistakes
Show me the children whom joy does embrace
Show me the ways in which you have prepared
Show me the steps to avoid frustration and despair
Show me the ambiance of holiness like no other
Show me the separation from flesh and its lover
Show me the peace you display all day
Show me the sun when the skies are gray
Show me the future in no particular order
Show me the sister who has no brother
Show me all these things and much more
Show me the way to walk into Heaven’s front door
N’Shae Feb. 2009
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