Updated - From January 2013

I promise I will start becoming more consistent when it comes to writing and sharing with the entire world all that God shares with me. Today was one of those days in which I simply cannot get on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram to express the life lessons due to the events which unfolded this evening.

Welcome to 2013! It is only the 30th day in the new year and my goodness all types of situations, tests, and trials have slowly interfered with my life. Where to start? Well... how about at the beginning!

I knew coming into the new year things would be completely different. To begin, I was blessed to move into a brand new home which was built just for me and my man child. This move was significant because it allowed us the freedom to step out into the world on our own without help from anyone but God. We had to get out of the "nest" that served as a continuous trap. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for the roof over my head, but I quickly had to learn that other's happiness was not going to be at my expense. It was simply time to move out of the house that I spent almost 18 years of my life in. It was time to move past the old comfortable way of doing things and step out on faith into all that God had promised me and my son. It was simply time to act on the small nudge God put inside of me during the summer of 2012. By the grace of God I closed on my first home at the end of November 2012 and we were officially moved in a month later. My New Year's was celebrated with an empty new home which could be filled with wonderful memories and love.

But, with all of the excitement I knew the enemy was out to get me. It only made sense. 23 days after the best year of my life had begun, I received a blind shot that hit me to the inner most core of my heart. The situation is too sensitive to discuss at this moment but it left an unprecedented effect that I will remember for the rest of my life. Never in my 30 years of breathing had I seen such an attack from the enemy as the one I was dealt last week. I knew if he was coming from me that it would be serious...because I asked God to call me higher and give me something greater, yet I knew "new levels equal new devils" so I welcomed the drama without strong contest. Needless to say the surprise attack left me heartbroken and angry. It left me in a state of confusion and in complete disbelief. It made me question myself and the position I had allowed such foolishness to lurk uncontested. How in the world could I have been so careless? How in the world could I have been so trusting? What was I thinking about to allow myself this small moment of vulnerability, this late in my life? After shedding so many tears and crying out to my family and close friends, I finally had to hear an answer from the Lord himself. "God! Why? Why is this happening to me and why now?" I heard myself say over and over. I knew this was a a test of my faith and my how big of a test it became. When all the odds seemed stacked against me, I slowly felt myself believing the lies against me. When no hope was sought within my own strength to fix the situation, I slowly begin to question my ability to win. It was at this moment when I realized "The ONLY way I win was if I sit down and let God be my God!"