Day By Day

I have accepted the fact that there are still parts of me that are really out of sink. I now understand that I have to take things DAY BY DAY. I can no longer let myself down by failed attempts or fearful regrets. I have to WOMAN UP and just do the dang on thing!" So I no longer set unrealistic goals for myself nor do I give myself a deadline to restrict me from becoming all that I want and all that God needs me to be.

I have decided to put men on the backside of the TO DO LIST! For some reason my focus and attention have been geared to finding that special someone who can make me happy. But at the end of the day I realized I don't need a man to do that...I have ME! So guys...sorry but I am not interested in jumping into a committed relationship with anyone right now. I recently had someone tell me he was not looking for a FRIEND he needed a WOMAN. How can you have one without the other is my question?! Praise God that the red flag went up when it did.

I believe in me and I know that now is NOT the time for me to put aside my dreams and goals and all the things that I have worked so hard to accomplish, only to entertain people. I know now that I have to do me and change me for the better. When my Boaz does come he will find me....working in the field trying to take care of me and my family.

I honestly believe that there is a divine purpose I am suppose to fulfill in order for my Golden Girls (my grandmothers) to see it manifest. I wrote them all letters about 5 months ago just expressing my feelings for them and speaking into their lives as my elders. I believe that wisdom is something the Holy Spirit gives you and he has surely blessed those women who have all grown to live and see 70+ years of life... 4 generations deep! What a blessing!

So I am working and grinding. I have not really been serious about my life and purpose since I was in college. Then I had ambition and drive there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I could see it so clearly. I want that energy back. I want that passion back in my sprirt to work hard and make things happen in my life like never before. I believe in God for that much. I know that all I have to do is get behind him and allow him to lead me and not the other way around. So I am taking things....DAY BY DAY...one step at a time!